Setting Intentions

I have just been notified that I achieved my Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation by the National Speakers Association (NSA).  The CSP is the speaking profession’s international measure of speaking experience and skill.  Fewer than 10 percent of professional speakers hold this designation, awarded only to accomplished professional speakers with a proven track record of continuing speaking experience and expertise as well as a commitment to ongoing education, outstanding client service and ethical behavior. 

 I am very excited to be honored during a ceremony on July 19th at the 2009 NSA Convention in Phoenix, and I am thrilled to join the elite group of CSP-designated Colorado speakers like LeAnn Thieman, CSP, CPAE, author of 10 Chicken Soup for the Soul books, and renowned leadership speaker Mark Sanborn, CSP, CPAE. 

 But what I am most proud of is following through on a goal I set for myself when I first entered the speaking business in 1996.  There is something both rewarding and powerful about setting a goal, or intention as I like to call it, and seeing it through to fulfillment.  The power of intention is a concept that’s been around for a long time, but it is easy for us to forget how empowering it really can be.  Just for today, try setting an intention and see the difference it can make. 

And let me know how it turns out!

Top 10 Ways Nurses Can Reclaim Their Spirit

Spirit is courage, strength, character, fortitude, and soul. Do you think nursing requires any of these? Absolutely! With 22 million nurses in this country, we are the nation’s largest resource of healthcare providers and, dare I say it, probably one of the nation’s unhealthiest. We have thrived by taking on ever more responsibility with certifications and specialties, but somewhere along the way we have lost sight of taking care of our most important asset—ourselves.

As we celebrate nurses week next month (May 6-12), we can reclaim our spirit for nursing not only by taking responsibility for ourselves, but through supporting every other nurse in the process as well. The following list of action items isn’t complex or new. We all  know it in our hearts already, but we aren’t all doing it. Let’s take ownership and responsibilities for our units, our specialties, professional organizations and ourselves. Because you can’t give what you don’t have, the first person you have to take care of is yourself. Do it in these 10 ways:

1. Open to grace. Get up 15 ‘earlier and before you ever step onto your unit, deliberately set your intention for the day. Who do you want to be? How do you choose to show up? What is most important today?

2. Take a deep breath. Before you respond, react, or rake a patient, family member, physician, or other staff member over the coals, pause, listen, take a deep breath and really think about how you will choose to respond.

 3. Look them in the eye. Make direct eye contact with everyone you communicate with, both speaking and listening, from the dietary aide to the orthopedic resident.

4. Eat, drink, and be relieved. Schedule your breaks and meals with your team and make sure everyone gets theirs. Ask how you can help, not if you can help when someone has not gotten their break.

5. Refuse to participate. When you witness negative back-biting, gossiping, or resentment-building comments, do not engage, in fact ask, “Have you talked to (the person being beaten-up) about this?”

6. Smile and say please and thank you. You can’t imagine how powerful these three words are—and how underused they are.

7. Do not tolerate anything less from anyone on your team. You are the role model every single moment, for families, other departments, and other nurses.

8. Transition. When you leave your shift, be intentional about transitioning to home by reviewing your day and noting what you did really well. Play a special piece of music, visualize crossing a bridge between work and home, so you can be fully present when you reach your front door.

9.Be grateful.  For the most part, nursing positions are recession-proof and while other professionals are out of work, you could probably pick up an extra shift this week, if you really wanted to.

10. Choose carefully. Remember that you choose how you stand up, show up, and speak up every day—both at work and at home. You can choose to struggle and suffer, or you can choose to thrive and reclaim your spirit!

Going Out of Your Mind?

Deepak Chopra recently wrote 27 ways to go out of your mind but I think he missed one. He says out of the 60,000 thoughts we have everyday, 59,000 are the same unless we do something different.  Whenever we have an experience beyond words—Whenever we go out of our minds—we touch the unlimited dimension of our being and open ourselves to new and creative possibilities. 

A few of his ideas are:

• Invite someone new to lunch
• Watch good things that are happening in the world at www.darynkagan.com
• Take an improvisational acting class
• Read a magazine on a topic you’ve never explored
• Eat a meal in complete silence

One that isn’t mentioned is my favorite, practicing yoga!  Yoga always helps me go out of my mind because it connects me with my breath, my body, and a grace bigger than myself.  What do you do to go out of your mind?    

 

 

 

 

 

 

What are You Doing for Nurses Week?

In these uncertain times, it makes sense to want to get lean and mean and cut expenses by minimizing the frills and fluff.  An initial thought might be to totally forgo any celebrations for your staff.  Aren’t celebrations considered fluff?  I’m not so sure.  I think now, more than ever, we need to feel appreciated, celebrated, and important both at home and work.  An interesting article in last Tuesday’s New York Times “Science” section discussed the psychology of saving and spending (think Ants and Grasshoppers), and included this nugget: “Other experiments showed that people will work harder for luxuries than for more practical prizes — and the more effort that’s required, the more they feel entitled to a self-indulgent reward. That’s a motivation strategy for managers and marketers to keep in mind, Dr. Kivetz said.” 

 

Whether you offer free massages and yoga classes, celebration dinners, or give gifts, some kind of recognition is important.  I would love to hear how your facility is celebrating your nurses, and I welcome your ideas and comments about what would really make you feel celebrated. 

 

The Final Choice

I recently lost a friend to suicide—and discovered you can’t really know how you’ll feel about someone taking their own life until you are faced with it.  My responses ranged from confusion to shock to anger to deep sadness, all in the same moment.  I am overwhelmed to think that he was in such a place of suffering that the only way out he could see was to end his life.  Suicide is the final choice and has farther-reaching results than I could have imagined. 

 

In the book, No Time to Say Goodbye; Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One,  Carla Fine  shares her personal story of her recovery from her husband’s suicide and the experiences of many others on the path of healing after a loved one has left them in such a final way.   “The suicide of a loved one reshapes us: Our beliefs and perceptions have been shaken by the deliberate, permanent departure of a person we have cared for, depended on, cherished, and nurtured.” 

 

Fine helped me understand that we must focus on the life of the deceased and on our own life as well, instead of getting so wrapped up in the unexpected ending of death.   I highly recommend it for anyone who has been touched by suicide. 

 

With an increase in suicide rates due to these stressful economic times, it behooves us all to be on alert for the signs and symptoms of depression and know how we can help.

 

Choosing Life Balance for Heart Health

I have just returned from speaking at the American Heart Association Go Red for Women Luncheon in Minneapolis and loved their theme:  Your Heart.  Your Choice. Your Story.     Heart disease continues to be the number one killer of women with grim statistics–an amazing one in three will die this year.   What a good reminder not only of the importance of healthy eating and exercise, but of the remarkable power that choice plays out in our lives.  Every day we choose how we show up, stand up, and speak up, from what we eat to how many times we say yes when we’d really prefer to say no.  As I did with my Minneapolis participants, I’m going to ask you to try committing to one choice regarding your life balance today.  Keep it simple and specific–anything from taking a walk or making an appointment with your doctor to learn your numbers to just taking 10 minutes to stop and indulge yourself with doing nothing. 

 

Happy Valentines Day to You

Even as the economy crumbles, today’s relatively tame Valentine’s Day celebration is expected to generate some $14.7 billion in retail sales in the United States!  WOW!  Caught up in another high-consumer holiday and inundated with hype from jewelers, florists and confectioners, it’s easy to forget the real meaning of Valentine’s Day: to express our love.  Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or not, it’s a good to time to remember that we can’t express our love fully to someone else until we fall in love with ourselves, because you can’t give what you don’t have.  Coming from a place of self-love enables you to love someone else more deeply and abundantly.  So ask yourself how you can be your own valentine today—and then write your love letter or invest in some chocolate just for you. 

Can we really afford to take good care of ourselves in these challenging times of such economic uncertainty?

 

I turned 50 last week.  To many the half-century birthday is a benchmark event, but I really don’t have strong emotions about it, one way or the other.  I’m not particularly depressed that I’m not further along in my life, and I’m not necessarily thrilled to be entering my fifth decade, either.  I just read in fiftyisthenewforty.net that actresses Linda Blair and Emma Thompson, entertainer Marie Osmond, and the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, are all turning 50 this year, too, so at least I’m in good company.

 

Even if I don’t really feel any different, I’ve decided to use this birthday to mark the initiation of my exceptional self-care campaign.  No matter how old you are, in these times of high stress and fear we all need to put self-care at the top of our list.  So even as you are looking to cut back, tighten up, and do more with less, I am going to ask you to prioritize your self-care.  Keep your gym membership, your dentist appointment, and your professional organization membership.  Now more than ever, we need to do everything we can to get the support we need physically, emotionally, and spiritually to take good care in these challenging times.  

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Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

As many of you know, I recently moved into my dream home, a 100 year old Denver Bungalow.  I have been having a ball decorating, organizing, and rekindling a real passion I have-entertaining. 

 

One problem.  I love entertaining and I hate housecleaning.  And, when you are a recovering perfectionist and forget that cleaning, decorating, and making vegetarian lasagna all takes more than an hour, the result is a lot of self-induced stress.  My first dinner party was nothing short of-well rather long as the food wasn’t ready, the wine wasn’t cold, and we never did quite get the fire going…

 

Something had to give, either the entertaining or the housecleaning because I found it impossible to get both in, at least right now.  So I let go of having to dust, scrub, and shine every nook and cranny of my 100 year old house and relaxed the white glove standards I wanted, but didn’t have time or energy to pursue.   

 

And guess what?  Everyone had a good time anyway, especially me.  The meal was on time, the wine was chilled and the hostess was present and rested, instead of exhausted.  Just another opportunity to let go of what doesn’t serve….  

The Yogi Lifestyle

I recently spent three days at the 2008 Yoga Journal Conference in Estes Park, and it was nothing short of an amazing and inspirational weekend.  Not only did I get to experience the wisdom and heart of such phenomenal yoga teachers as Seane Corn, Shiva Rea, and Judith Lasater, I also got to be in the presence of 1,000 other yogis, all there to expand, explore and experience the practice and lifestyle of yoga.

Besides learning how to balance my chakras and stick my handstand in the middle of the room—no small feats—I gained insight on how yoga transforms my everyday life off my mat.  I’d like to share my biggest takeaways with the hope they’ll help you transform yours:

•  Time is big.  The only way we can get more time in our lives is by taking something out.

•  We are addicted to our tension and we need to detoxify and get rid of what’s not working (relationships, diet, profession, lifestyle).

•  Always look for the good first. 

•  We are here to trust in the universe.

•  Our bodies always express the truth.   

•  It takes four things to completely relax/restore ourselves:

v     Safety
v     Darkness
v     Warmth
v     Quiet

When we take care of our basic needs on the inside, we no longer crave outside sources like sugar, wine or shoes to make us happy!